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Question:
If one is aware that that is one's nature, but when
there is any concept of time or movement there,
then fear arises and there is hesitation.
Papaji: This is the fear of facing the
Emptiness, because you are living in so many
things, so many concepts, you see. This is the fear
of having all your illusions destroyed. You are
meant to face the Emptiness, face to face, and you
lose everything – all concepts of the past,
present and future which you consider to be your
life. You're holding on to them because the feeling
is that you're living along with them. So, when
they leave, you have the fear of dying in the ocean
of nectar. The fear of death in the nectar. And
what's the meaning of nectar? Eternity,
deathlessness. So, we have fear of Eternity, that
"I" will become Eternal. This is a fear because we
want to cling onto something for our safety. We
find that we are already holding on to the body,
mind and senses. This is for our safety and we do
not know that when we get rid of these things, we
will have peace.
When we go from the waking state to the sleep
state, we lose everything. What we held onto during
the waking state – our relationships with
people, our relations – all this will leave.
When we enter into the sleep state, we have lost
everything. At that time we have no fear. But we
are afraid of entering into Emptiness, because we
have never heard about it, nor have we experienced
it. Sleep, we've experienced and we're not afraid
of it. We love to get into sleep, get into the
state of conceptlessness. Getting into the state of
Emptiness is the same, there is no difference. We
cannot experience it because we are already in it.
You cannot have an experience of what your true
nature is. Therefore, don't get the idea that you
have to achieve something by practice at some time
later. You have to get rid of this concept. By
doing something at a later date, you will enter, or
receive or achieve the same thing which you are
now. So, why not do it at this very moment? What
will be the difference? This moment is available to
you right now! Look into this moment, look into
this instant of time. Look into it just now and see
how you feel. You cannot speak of this instant.
It is a very beautiful subject that we are
discussing. It happens, you see. "It happened",
this is the experience of everybody. There, we
forget that this itself will dissolve. It will find
itself, you see. So, that fear will vanish and
everything ends there. What will happen is, this
"I" will dissolve.
Question: So, all that is needed is to look
within?
Papaji: Yes. Turn your sight inside and look
behind the retina. In front of the retina, there
will appear objects, but try to look within. When
you look inside you have solved all your problems
– problems of the ego, of jealously, of fear,
of everything. You will find no ego inside. Ego,
jealousy and fear are all outside. You will feel
jealous with someone who is higher than you and
hate people who are lower than you. This is the
trend of outside looking. It is easier to look
inside than to look outside, so for one instant
look within and you will see beauty and love,
behind the retina itself.
There is no difference between looking within and
stillness, quietness and peace. They are all the
same. So, look inside and see what happens. Peace
will come up by itself, and you will feel that
looking inside at the Reality and looking outside
at the dream-creation are the same. There is no
difference. This cannot be explained. In quietness,
in stillness, in silence or on the battlefield
– to still be quiet on the battlefield, as on
the high peaks of the Himalaya – no associate
around you. This is peace itself and is called
"equilibrium of the mind".
So, there is no need to meditate and no need to
practice. Keep quiet without even a thought of
making an effort – as in deep sleep –
even only for a second. Here is one's true nature.
Trust this! As a leaf falls from a tree, it has got
nothing to do. It has no intention that "I must go
northward or southward." It flies with the wind and
this wind is Grace. Now, you have fallen from the
tree of the ego, from where you came. You are
falling on the ground, lying. So, whichever
direction the wind blows, it will take you. You
have no choice. This is how you have to live now.
Trust this – nothing ever existed!
Question: How then should one approach the
Self?
Papaji: Approaching the Self is like walking
the razor's edge: two cannot go there. You cannot
bring your mind nor even a thought. The only one
who can help you is Self. Anything that touches a
flame becomes the flame. Touch a sage and you
become a sage. Knowing Self, you see only Self and
this Self is your Guru. The Satguru is within! The
true Guru is Self. All else is pointing to
Self.
Eventually you have to get rid of the name and form
of both master and yourself. You have to reject the
finger in order to see the moon. Where there is
name and form there is falsehood. It is an
impediment to freedom because nothing you see will
give you freedom. When you are drowning hold only
onto Self. Reach for anything else and you will
die. Don't cling to anything made from the five
elements. The Guru has no body, visible or
invisible. Do not depend on any body. Bodies are
just fingers pointing to the Truth! Reject the form
of the Guru and only the Supreme is left.
Question: What can I do so that my mind
stops troubling me?
Papaji: Don't peep into the past because the
past of everybody is dark, troublesome, and if you
look to it you cannot have peace of mind. So, the
only thing to do is not to look to the past. If you
say, "It is very difficult", I will not believe
you. All past at one time was present, and you
enjoyed very well. This enjoyment was a stupid
enjoyment because you desired the joy from someone
else, didn't you? You are not happy by yourself.
You took out somebody, some snake to love and it
bit you. All relationships of the past are the
cobras. This poison will not keep you alive, keep
you happy. Therefore, the best way to keep happy is
to not go to the past. Try! Any thought that comes,
you have to be watchful.
Life is here to enjoy. God has given so many things
in the world. God is so compassionate, merciful,
helping his children. He has given a beautiful
world to live, full of snow-capped mountains,
rivers, forests, trees full of fruit. So, why not
enjoy this world? But you must know the technique
of how to enjoy, by not having these snakes or
scorpions. Look at it and it will vanish. You have
not been looking, therefore you are having
troubles.
Question: It may sound stupid, but I’m
so afraid to die. I also feel that it would be real
freedom to be ready to die. Until now, the
statement "I’m not the body" is only
theoretical for me. It is not practical. So can you
please help that it becomes practical?
Papaji: Everybody is afraid to die. There is
only one trick to avoid death and that is, "Know
thyself now!" Everybody is senseless, sleeping in a
coma. They don't know what to do. Therefore, the
best way is don't waste time. Do it now! Find out
what is the reality of the beings that appear to
you. It may not be true what you see. After you
wake up from a dream, where is the wife you had in
the dream? Like this, for generations you have been
having wives and husbands, brothers and sisters.
Where are they? If they disappear like in the
dream, then let us think that this might be a dream
also. Anything that appears and disappears must be
a dream. So, whatever does not disappear and does
not appear must be real. Find out what it is! Find
out within yourself. Find out who is That which has
no attachment with the body, mind, ego, senses or
objects. You can make this theory into practice
whenever you understand closely what is the purpose
of that appearance in the world – enjoyment,
attachment, or finding freedom? Then your eyes will
open and you will not be afraid of death.
A nameless and formless person will not die. And
who is that person who has no attachment with the
body, mind, ego, senses, objects ? You can make
this theory into practice whenever you understand
closely what is the purpose of any appearance in
the world: enjoyment, attachment, or finding
freedom. Then your eyes will open and you will not
be afraid of death. But apart from this fear of
death, there is fear in your eyes, I do not know
what kind of fear it is.
Question: I'm afraid to have to die now!
Papaji: When did this thought come into your
mind that you have to die now?
Question: Yesterday.
Papaji: What time?
Question: In the night.
Papaji: So before this fear came, what have
you been doing?
Question: Sleeping.
Papaji: And while sleeping there is no
fear?
Question: No.
Papaji: In sleep there is no fear. Only in
the waking state is there fear. So while awake, you
must have been thinking about something so that
this fear came to you. It is the thought "I am
going to die" that you can't face.
Question: I was thinking about if I’m
afraid to stay here. I do not know if I can
leave.
Papaji: This fear is genuine fear. This is
the death of the mind. So you are attributing the
death of the mind to you, but when the mind dies,
you will live and you will be free. This mind is
giving you fear to run away from here because if
you stay here it will die. This is, I agree, the
death of mind and of all your desires. Everybody
desires and everybody is living because there is a
desire to enjoy. That desire vanishes when you sit
here. The mind has been living with you for
generations and now it will not die so easily. If
you persist and understand that "I have got to stay
here and free myself from the mind", then you will
overcome death. All you have to do is to persuade
the mind: "Look, I'm sitting here, if you want to
stay with me, stay, otherwise you go and live with
someone else. Therefore , I have no company for
you. You can go with someone else. I have to stay
here." This fear is of the mind only
Question: How do I put an end to suffering
once and for all?
Papaji: If you have arrogance in your mind,
ego, then you will continue to suffer. Ego is the
source of suffering. When you surrender the ego,
then the Reality within you becomes your friend. It
will reveal itself to you, at once. But if you
cling to the ego, two things cannot meet. You have
to merge into Reality, as the river merges into the
ocean. Like this, you must merge your ego into the
Divinity and become one with It. This is surrender.
Maintaining the "I" will not help you. Remove this
"I" and you will see how close you are to Reality.
"I" and the body are the same thing. How can this
body ever see the Reality? It's not possible. When
you meditate, don't say, "I am meditating." Don't
take the "I" with you. Who is meditating on who? It
is the "I" which is always in trouble and causes
suffering. People say, "I am suffering, I am
dying." It is only the "I" that is troublesome, so
just get rid of it. Reality is everywhere, and to
find It "you" must first disappear. Then you will
see the Reality everywhere. It is not possible to
see That when "you" are still here.
Divorce all physical relationship, divorce all
names and forms. Whatever stays in the memory of
your mind is a form. If it is formless, then you
cannot see it. Now, in formlessness you are quite
free. All forms will disappear someday, so what's
the use of living with any form which will trouble
you later on, which will die? This form, this body,
will also leave you one day, so why love it? Be
careful and only love that one Beloved which you
can never divorce. She is called "Miss Peace" and
She will never leave you. All other beauties will
fade away. But She is hiding because you are
looking somewhere else. Stay quiet and stop looking
elsewhere, just for one second, and She will reveal
herself. One glimpse of Her will give you Eternal
happiness.
Question: This samsara [continuous round
of birth and death], this duality, how does it
arise and how do we end it?
Papaji: It has no beginning, but has an end.
This ignorance, this samsara appears and there must
be a beginning to it. This beginning is as if you
see a snake instead of a rope. Only when you
enquire, reason out, then the snake disappears.
This ignorance has no basis. Due to ignorance of
the rope, the snake appeared. On reasoning out,
through enquiry, it disappeared. So, ignorance of
the Self gives rise to samsara, and when you
enquire into the samsara, then it is going to end.
Otherwise, for millions of aeons, it will stay.
It's not going to end.
So, how to stop this samsara? Only by stilling the
mind. There is no difference between stillness of
mind and freedom. When the mind is still, you are
free. There is no method to still the mind. Only by
reasoning. Only when you enquire, "How did this
samsara arise? Where does it begin?" It started
from sat-chit-ananda, Truth being in bliss. With
the association of prana [vital energy] it
became the individual self. "I" arose, then
everything arose. So, this ego is beginningless, so
it is not going to end. Whatever you do, it will
spread more and more. Samsara has become real, but
when you still the mind, it stops appearing as
real. Reality is only knowledge, existence and
bliss.
When the mind is made free of its attachment to
what it is holding, then it becomes still. Anything
dear to you in your mind is samsara. When you get
rid of attachments, the mind is left still. When
you look at an ocean or river, you see waves and
bubbles on the surface. But waves and bubbles are
just water. So, names and forms arise, but when you
investigate, "This is water and water has not
changed", then you will discover that the waves and
bubbles are water. So, with a still mind you have
to reason out. Discrimination, clarity,
doubtlessness and desire for freedom will arise in
a pure mind.
Question: How to still the mind?
Papaji: The mind is no different from the
object. Any object is objectified mind only. Do not
let your mind abide anywhere. Mind has to abide on
an object, and if the object is removed, the mind
cannot subsist without abiding to an object. Then,
there’ll be no mind. When the mind dies, you
will live and be free. Let death come, let it come
to cowards, those people who are afraid of death.
To them she comes and takes them away. If you
invite death yourself and say, "I am not afraid of
death", then you become Eternal. Only two choices
are there – either you allow the mind to live,
or you live without the mind. This is your
decision.
Give up everything you are holding. That's all you
have to do. Then your mind becomes free of any
attachments, vasanas [tendencies] and
desires. This is freedom. See that your mind is not
running after any object. All objects are past
objects. Attachment is an impediment to this
wisdom, consciousness and light. When the mind
doesn't go anywhere, this is "no-mind", and when
the mind goes somewhere, then it becomes "mind". If
you can give up all the attachments of the mind
until this moment, then just imagine what will
happen!
Everybody wants to understand intellectually, but
the intellect cannot carry you across to the other
shore. So, be free of the mind and intellect, and
then you will see that you are your Self,
being-knowledge-bliss. Somehow, you have forgotten
it, therefore in satsang you are reminded, "You are
being-knowledge-bliss." Whatever you are doing, you
are doing from within consciousness. "You" are not
doing, "It" is doing. Put the responsibility of
action on consciousness, and be free! "It" is
doing, that's all!
Question: Can you help me to see the
Emptiness?
Papaji: Find out who this Seer is. Find out
who wants to see the Emptiness and whether the Seer
is different from Emptiness? When you let go of all
concepts, what is left? Yes, Emptiness!
The dress that we wear is not "me", is not "we".
The indweller, the person who wears the dress is
more important. Likewise, the bodies are also like
dresses. Who is wearing the body, who is wearing
the bodies? And, "That" is One. 'That is one's
essence, and at the same time "That" wears millions
of bodies and has millions of tongues to speak. If
you identify yourself with That, that One, from
where time, mind and personal consciousness arise,
then you feel oneness with all beings. So, from
there you can recognise that "It" is speaking all
the languages that others speak – the birds
are chirping and the tigers are roaring, the water
falls and the breeze whispers into the ears of the
plants.
He finds himself to be identified with "It", and he
doesn't find any separation. So, if you go to that
essence, that substratum from where everything
arises, then you can speak and do whatever you
want. All the activities rise from there and you
feel that it is you who is speaking through all the
mouths, and it is you who is active through all the
activity of the world. It is not difficult, you can
do it here and now. How? Just by searching. Where
does the physicality arise from? Go on towards it,
to where this thought takes you.
Follow from where does the wave rise and where does
it dissolve, and you will discover something vast,
from where the waves come. So, all these
manifestations are just the waves which are rising
from within, from a very secret, sacred cave of you
own Heart, and you are This. When you hold
something else, your mind takes hold of an object,
a name and a form. Then you forget who you have
been and who you are. Therefore, once again, return
back to your original status, your own kingdom, and
don't beg. Throw away the begging bowl. Begging
bowl is desire, intention, hope. So, if you get rid
of desire and hope, you are back home. Instantly,
you are back home. Instantly, we become One. All is
One, and "It" is all. There is no doubt about it.
In not going anywhere, I am everywhere.
From wherever you are, return to the centre. You
can do it in this moment. Postponement is
suffering, mind and time. Get rid of this and
arrive at Eternity, Happiness, Beauty and Love.
You've got nothing to do, only give up your old
habits of desire and hope. That's all. Desire has
taken you out of the kingdom and this desire itself
is a begging bowl, which is never full, which can
never be full at all. So, once you throw it away,
instantly you are emperor. Any wanting, even
wanting peace, joy or happiness is obscuring the
simplicity of who I am, and that simplicity is
revealed in not wanting any of them.
What is the difference in what you speak and what
another speaks? Nothing! It's very simple and very
easy to follow. Look into "who" is looking, that's
all. The one who looks, the looking and the looked
at are the very same.
Question: You say "Go within and find
freedom", but where is "within"? How do I go
"within" and what is freedom?
Papaji: Wonderful! You do not know what
freedom is and do not know where "within" is. When
you say "within" it means that you already know
"without". Otherwise, how can you even say
"within"? Suppose you are standing outside in front
of this hall. Only then can you say, "People are
sitting within this hall and are meditating and
listening." You are not in the hall, you are
outside. And the people sitting inside the hall
say, "There is a man standing outside." Why do you
say that people are sitting within? What is this
"within" and "without"? You tell me now.
Question: Just words.
Papaji: If there is no hall, then where is
the "within" and where is the "without"? The only
thing that makes a difference is the 9 inch wall.
And when you stand at the open door there is no
difference between "inside" and "outside".
Therefore, to be free you only need to remove the
wall from your mind. What is this wall? Ego. This
wall is ego, the "I am the body" concept. So
saying, "I have to go within" means that I have not
to care for the body, the mind, the senses or any
object.
What we see outside are objects. For example, you
see this flower pot and table. From an object, turn
your attention toward the senses that perceive any
object. Eyes see, nose smells, ears hear, tongue
tastes and hands touch. These are the senses and
without them you cannot perceive anything. So what
are the senses? They come from the mind. If there
is no mind then there are no senses and no
objects.
The mind is thinking. Who thinks? Something beyond
the mind thinks and that is the ego. Now, how do
you know about the ego? Through consciousness you
know whether this is the ego or is not the ego. So
consciousness is the source of the ego, the mind,
the senses and all objects. Now within this
consciousness ask yourself, "Who am I?" This will
take you even further, from consciousness to
awareness. Something which you do not know is
seated in the centre of your body and is aware of
being conscious or not being conscious. Who is
aware of consciousness? This question has to be
asked and it will end all confusion between
"within" and "without". This has to be
practised.
Question: You also say that to be free
everything has to be forgotten.
Papaji: Everything has to be forgotten, even
God. To be free even God has to be renounced. If
you don't forget everything, including God, then it
means that you create duality, and there cannot be
two realities. Either you are real or the other
thing is real. But the other thing appears within
your reality. Let the concept of God arise, but
understand that it is you who speaks of Him. If you
were not there, then there would be no God.
During sleep you have no relations and there is no
God. There is only your own happiness and bliss.
There is not even a body. Everything disappears.
This is the highest experience. So, forgetting and
remembering belong to the mind. Without the mind
you cannot say, "I have my Guru, I have my
relations, I have my country." To forget everything
you only need to stop thinking that "I am so and
so." Forgetting means not thinking. When you do not
think, you see everything as equal. When you do not
think, duality returns to oneness. When there is no
feeling, no remembrance, no mind, that is the
blissful essence which is who you are. Forget about
yourself by asking, "Who am I?" One who has tasted
That cannot speak and one who speaks has not tasted
That.
You are not the body. Every night you forget your
body when you sleep. That which you cannot forget
is some essence which you do not know. Find out
what that essence is which does not disappear.
Beingness depends on nothing. Very few will have
the consciousness of being, where there is no
desire and no relation. Love, Truth, freedom exalts
a holy person who asks for nothing. You have to be
holy to win freedom. Everything has to be given up
for good. You stand alone and need not be concerned
for the result of any action. It is a divine gift
to know who you are. You have not to worry. It will
come to you by itself. Just stay quiet without any
desire. It will reveal itself to itself by
itself.
You're in Manhattan and somebody has slapped you on
the street. Then, you go to your house in New
Jersey and sleep. During the night, will you not
remember this place where you have been slapped and
insulted? New Jersey is where your house is. It has
got nothing to do with where you got slapped. Here
you are kissed by your friend. When you think of
grief, it belongs to somewhere else, and that
somewhere else is in the past. When you go back to
grief, you have to go back to Manhattan, to be
slapped again. That is the habit of most people.
They can't avoid it. A slap on this side, a slap on
that side. Repeating it, yet not learning a lesson.
Go your way! Don't go to areas where you are
insulted. Stay at home and you will be happy. I
don't mean stay in your apartment. Staying at home
means staying within your own Self. And if you stay
there, nobody will harm you, everybody will love
you.
Question: I have experienced moments of
inner peace, but my tendencies and desires
re-emerge and keep me occupied with so many things.
They prevent me from accepting that I am this inner
peace and make me feel that I have so many
faults.
Papaji: When you are overwhelmed by inner
peace, at the time, where are the tendencies of the
mind? They are dead. When the tendencies of the old
habits of the mind take you to enjoy external
objects, at that time, you cannot enjoy inner
peace. Once you have enjoyed inner peace, these
tendencies have no energy to take you away from
here, from peace. When you are so absorbed in
peace, you have no tendency to look at any other
object. Once you have tasted this peace, you can
never forget It. It has brought you here.
When you were young, you experienced many good
times, but you no longer remember them. These
experiences can easily be forgotten and you don't
even mind forgetting them. In fact, you are happy
to forget all past experiences and all your
tendencies. But once you have tasted the most
beautiful peace and love in your mind, you can
never forget It and It will never forget you. One
instant is quite enough. If your tendencies return,
then let them come, but they will not affect you.
If you are very keen to remain here, you won't care
for what is happening elsewhere. You won't even
care for what is happening here. Your tendencies
may take you to a fish market, but you will not
smell the fish. You are always here in peace and
you have no faults. To enjoy peace, even for a
fraction of a second, means that you are faultless.
No fault can enter this place of peace, wisdom and
love.
When you are in the ocean of nectar, bliss and
love, you only see waves of nectar, bliss and love.
At that moment, how could you speak of anything
else? When you have a drop of nectar on the tip of
your tongue, you are Eternal and do not have to
face death. So, why do you leave this ocean to
return to the shore of the past concepts? Concepts
are of the mind and will always deceive you. Don't
believe any concept. Whenever your mind says, "You
are in darkness", just look at that "darkness".
Just look at anything that doesn't give you love.
When you look at it, it will be converted into
love, because apart from love, nothing else exists.
All the rest is just concepts of the mind, that's
all. The mind produces concepts to annoy you and
put you in unhappy situations. The mind pulls you
in all directions, but just keep bringing it back
to the ocean of nectar. Fix it here. You may have
to fight like this for some time, but there's no
problem, just fight. Bring it back each time and
remain in the nectar of bliss. You have to do this.
To remain empty is much better than feeling
anything else. There cannot be anything easier than
this. Asking yourself "Who am I?" is the most
easiest and direct way back to your Self. You have
not to make any effort. Remain in the Self and
ignore everything else.
Question: When I came here I was expecting
to be in a peaceful state, but instead there is a
state of deep sadness that has welled up in me.
Together with this sadness comes a deep fear that I
am too old to realise my true Self. I feel
completely lost.
Papaji: It is a good sign when sadness wells
up in you. It was lying below, untouched, and you
were accumulating more and more of it. You didn't
know what was lying on the bottom of your heart.
This sadness is from your childhood, or perhaps
even previous to that. It has become one with your
body and you have never thought about throwing it
out. More and more will be added through your wrong
activities and behaviour. As you pour sand into a
glass of water, it will settle on the bottom of the
glass. When you stir the water, the sand rises to
the surface, where it can easily be removed. You
can't get to it when it's on the bottom. So when
you come to satsang, what happens? In satsang
everybody's mind is stirred so that this sadness,
which you were unaware of, can rise to the surface.
Everybody's sadness wells up here. You couldn't
deal with it before so that is why you are
here.
Once your sadness has risen to the surface, it
cannot remain because it is very shy
[laughter]. So, it comes to tell you,
"Goodbye". Therefore, you must be very happy and
thankful to this sadness because it has brought you
here. By coming here you have won your goal. That
is the most important point. Nothing else matters
apart from this goal. Why care for anything else?
Through wisdom you have arrived at the destination
and now you will forget everything that has
previously happened to you. That is the beauty of
knowing your own Self. It is quite enough that you
are here in satsang. Being here is not for
everyone. To enjoy the happiness of your own Self
is only for the rare ones, like Ramana Maharshi and
the Buddha. There are not many who seek abiding
happiness. Out of six billion people on this
planet, there are only a handful. So, you are very
lucky and you must thank your stars! They are happy
for you. Sadness will no longer come in your way
because you will no longer care for it.
It is always possible to live in freedom, quietness
and happiness. It is not difficult, but you
mistrust freedom and even misuse it. Are you not
happy when you sleep? If you are, then what
practice did you do to be happy? You just forgot
everything and returned to your natural quietness.
In the morning, people are unhappy and fight with
each other, and so the doctor gives them sleeping
pills. This helps them to stop shouting at each
other for awhile. Quietness is the best cure for
unhappiness. For how long can you shout? The more
you shout, the more you get annoyed. The best
medication is to keep quiet. It will not only bring
you quietness, it will also make others quiet.
Buddha was a very quiet person. When people shouted
at him and abused him, he remained quiet. His peace
quietened those around him. If a troubled person
slaps your face, and if you shout back, then you
are also in trouble. Just offer him your other
cheek to slap. For how long can he slap you?
Eventually, his hands will become too painful
[laughter]. So, to keep quiet just stay as
you are. You need not do anything, like when you
sleep. Don't shout and don't even abuse the people
who trouble you. Wish your enemies and those who
trouble you only well. Wish that they find
happiness. Then you will always be happy in this
world, knowing that you are the source of
happiness.
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